Thank you for sharing your side of things, Baron.
While I understand wanting to keep your commitment, I can see that you are both deeply unhappy and unfulfilled. I'm wondering why you stay together when it seems to me that separating could give you both the freedom find what you are looking for. I also wonder why you made the commitment even though, as you said, the conditions you felt you needed hadn't been met.
Whatever you choose, I just want to say that sometimes things just don't work out. You and RS have tried very, very hard to make them work. There's no dishonor in separating if you've given it your best effort. Life is a journey. It often doesn't go where you think it will or where you want it to. If that were the case, I'd still be with K. But K leaving me allowed N to come into my life and I have a wonderful life with him. Probably better than if I'd stayed with K.
I'm not saying that you two should separate. I know it will likely be very painful if you do. Just that I think you shouldn't be afraid to explore that possibility. Sometimes it is the best option.
Hang in there and keep posting, as Magdlyn encouraged you to do.
"But you've got to be tough when consumed by desire
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
When you're standing outside the fire"
Garth Brooks and Jenny Yates