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Old 09-18-2011, 02:19 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hardison View Post
Why do you seem to assume that if someone is Bi they can't also be mono?
I think it is quite possible to have an interest in both male and female (or even trans and gender-queer too) and still only want one partner.
Someone I know once said that if he were interested in being monogamous with someone, he couldn't do that with a bi woman because she would always want "one of each" (as he put it) and therefore would always be looking for more partners. And I told him that for a monogamous person who takes commitments and "vows" seriously, it's the love and commitment that would override any kind of attraction to other people, whether they were straight or bi or what-have-you. When you're mono and you've found The One, it's The One! That's it, and you don't want to keep looking! I think you can still have a bisexual orientation and only want to be with one person -- I guess it just means that you wouldn't have a preference over what sex/gender The One would be. I don't think being bi automatically makes someone poly and in need of multiple relationships, just as being/living poly doesn't automatically require being bi.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 05-01-2014 at 03:34 AM.
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