What a lovely indepth post of your feelings.
Whilst you have embraced the poly relationship - and maybe because you have never felt like first. You are now in that position. Which means if you want mono, there is nothing wrong sweetheart in that, why should you despair in the love you feel, with a man that loves you whole, and you want no more.
Life is just that. Right now I feel you have found your rolling river...........so go embrace and forget looking for more than you have until you need it. You seem to have it all xxx