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Old 10-27-2009, 11:35 PM
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ladyjools ladyjools is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 175
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ok
wow. did not expect to be seeing this when i logged on tonight,
First off, the girl he is talking about is me,
2nd, i am actually really glad that you where able to be honest and get your point accross i know its not easy for you.

Ok now my point of view,

I made a very big mistake with M first time around,
even though we where discusssing polyamoury and openning our relationship because i let myself be intamite with him before we made an agreement i accept that i cheated and that i was wrong, i regret this more than anything i have ever done,

it has been well over a year since things ended with M, and we are now sucessfully polyamorous. I feel i have learned a lot from my mistake, and i know that there is a need for radical honesty if we are to be sucessful in making this work

I did not expect to meet and fall in love with R, and seeing that you have accepted him and like him means a great deal to me,

I have spent the past year and 5 months (the time since i split with M) trying to move on from him. But i realised that i was unhappy, that no matter how much i wanted to do this for you because i knew that you really did not want him to ever be a part of my life again i felt like there was something missing,
i truely regret how we went about things the first time around, and i regret that i hurt you, i am always grateful that you where able to forgive me for this,

Before i started to speak to M again (as a friend) i asked you if that was ok and if you had any issues at all with it, you told me that you did not and so i went ahead and i contacted M once more,

it was then that we realised that you still had some very serious feelings about M,
and i can understand that, and am willing to take things slowly and work on those feelings in the hope that one day you might be able to let go of your hate and allow us to try again and do things right this time

YES I KNOW IM ASKING A LOT


it is not something i have decided easily. Its not a case of me giving you an ultamatum, i want things to work out with you more than anything but i know that if i give up my love for M in order to make you happy that would not make me happy, and i know some people will say thats selfish but i honestly can't do it, becuase it hurts me too much.

I am willing and able to be honest with you,
we have moved on so much in our relationship since the initial betrayal with M that was over 2 years ago now and we have come so far,

i have and continue to be honest with you and R about M, and I am trying to take things at a pace that is comfortable for everyone

i am guessing i am going to get mega bashed for this, because i know that i sound like a horrible person and i did do a horrible thing to someone who loves me and who i love, if i could go back in time and do it all diffrent i would but now all i can do is be true to myself and honest with my partners

Jools
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