Very wise, insightful, self-loving and astute words, AuroraWD -- all of them.
I see you as a flower in bloom.
Google up Tara Brach and "Radical Acceptance". It is a book I've given away to bunches of friends, and probably the best and most valuable book I've read in the last couple of decades. I think you'll gain much from it and resonate much with Tara, who is as sweet a being as there are.