Hi Mark. COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION!! I read your posts to my wife and she agreed with me. You all have to be COMPLETELY open and honest with each other. You should have a big ole pow wow with both of them, and have a "family" meeting. Air any concerns and discuss them.
When we started in the lifestyle we had a lot of hard times. A LOT!! We worked through them all by simply talking. I think a lot of people take that for granted. And when I say talk, I mean be completely honest with each other. No holds barred kinda thing. There are going to be some arguments and some hurt feelings, but shouldn't be anything that you guys after such a long and loving marriage can't recover from.
Good luck and please feel free to ask ANY specific questions. I wish I had a resource like this when we started out!