Polycouple......I was in a poly relationship for a short time with an established couple. It wasn't a triad in that he and I were a couple and he and she were a couple. She and I weren't. Anyhow, I moved to be closer to them and because I wanted to live in a warmer climate. I spent the first month living with them (as we had all agreed on ahead of time) to give me time to find my own place in the new area. (I had a job in the new area BEFORE I moved.) My new job was a little over an hour from where they lived. I found a place to rent and moved out at the end of one month. I chose to rent a place in the town where my new job was so I didn't have to commute so far.
He reassured me that while we certainly couldn't see each other everyday like when I was living with them, we could certainly touch base a few times a week. (I didn't come into the relationship as a "secondary". I had been clear I wanted to be another primary and he agreed with that.) Well that never happened after I moved out. In fact, I never saw him/them once a week much less more often. I missed them deeply. It was such a loss to have such closeness and then it was gone. They encouraged me to "find some of my own friends" where I moved to so I wouldn't be so lonely. The thing is.....I missed THEM!! They were my friends and he was my lover. They couldn't easily be replaced by others. (Now mind you....it wasn't just time alone with him I missed and wanted. I had spent time with them as a couple, with their extended family members, etc. I'm also very comfortable spending time in my own company.)
They continued to live together and going on with their lives, rarely taking my thoughts/feelings into consideration when plans were being made about how they would spend their time and other commitments they had made. Finally I told him I would like a commitment to seeing each other once a week in some capacity....he said he couldn't commit to that; It was too much pressure with all his other commitments. It hurt to lose him/them, especially after having experienced what it was like to be together on a daily basis.
Polycouple.....I'm right there with you in terms of the sense of loss and am sorry you're having to go through this. (The polycouple I was with weren't/aren't a married couple either. They had started out in a "V" with her in the middle with her husband and with our guy living together before I met them. Then her husband left and filed for divorce to be in a mono relationship.)
Last edited by dragonflysky; 09-16-2011 at 03:36 AM.