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Old 09-15-2011, 02:48 PM
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River River is offline
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 2,075

My post was very direct, concise, to the point. I could have delivered the same perspective without the sharp, staccato, and with a softer and more tender atmosphere. For this I apologize.

It is my view that most, if not all, relationships in which there is a good deal of "hell" there is a similar dynamic at play which generates this "hell". The dynamic is one where the parties involved have not yet figured out what love really comes down to. It comes down to caring for one another, deeply. It doesn't come down to treating one another as resources, or sources of sexual pleasure or romantic sparks. There can be sparks, alright, and sexual pleasure, but these are all best in the context of relationships founded on caring for one another.

Caring for one another means all involved are allies to one another, very good loving friends, supportive and kind, thoughtful and sensitive: caring. Such caring, done intelligently and honestly, does not produce "hell". It produces, mainly, joy. And peace. And happiness. If it isn't producing that, then it is sure it isn't being done intelligently, honestly, givingly, kindly, thoughtfully.... Some one or more people aren't providing the care needed, the love.

Love is not about being all needy and wanty and me me me -ish. Unfortunately, too many people think that it is, and treat those we "love" as sources for something we think we haven't got. We try to keep them around even if they are miserable with us! Well, if there is lasting, lingering misery, it is sure that the love--the care--is not flowing. The communication is broken, perhaps -- or those skills and insights never properly developed. Or...?

To share and enjoy love: Be love. Live love. Give love. It's the only way. Every other way will surely cause "hell".
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