Might I suggest you send this basic story in a personal message to Maca and ask for his thoughts?
I'm his wife-and I cheated on him and my third is that man.
I'm NOT saying you should compromise your principals or that your wrong-not at all.
In fact I daresay Maca would agree with you.
BUT I also think he may have some GREAT info and suggestions for you.
The reason I say pm him is that he rarely has time to dig through the boards-but if you pm him I know he would respond and having been in your shoes-he would be more helpful then I.
"Love As Thou Wilt"