I have to agree with everyone else here.. Let her go.
For me, it would be a matter of self respect. While some of what you're going through resonates with my particular situation, and I totally understand having patience with someone who needs time to process, what she seems to be looking for isn't processing time, but getting on with life time.
Were I you, I would do the same. Don't necessarily dump her, but get on with life. Either she'll reach a point where she wants to reconnect, or she won't. Either way, you'll respect yourself more, and that is never a bad thing.
It is my experience that respecting oneself is far more attractive than bending over backwards (or forwards, but without that stuff you sell) for someone who doesn't reciprocate.