Originally Posted by johnh24
Now here's the dilemma. My girlfriend doesn't know. She's a one man, one woman type- and I know she won't change. I think if i tried telling her about this friend (remember, they're best buddies too), I might as well just emotionally die, because she would live in pain for the rest of her life...
These are assumptions that might not be true. You might be right, you might be wrong, she might be horrified at first and then change her mind when she has time to think about it.
One thing that's not smart in any relationship is to make decisions FOR your partner without giving them the opportunity to know there is a decision to be made.
If you tell your girlfriend, she may see it as a betrayal that you already spoke to the other girl about your feelings before talking to her, but before going down that road at all with the other chick, you probably want to tell your gf what is going on. I don't have specific advice as to HOW to best tell her, but if you keep reading around the boards you'll probably see pertinent threads. Just better in this case to say it to her sooner than later, if you don't want to dig a big hole that will just get harder to crawl out of the more time that passes, and the more emotional intimacy you share with this other girl while your gf is in the dark.
I wish you luck!