Originally Posted by dingedheart
I did more or less but for different reasons....I wrote a thread asking essentialy the same thing.... I think I said rejecting the primary position. No one at the time had similar experiences... I think you're breaking new ground.
It really is kind of hard to know how to handle everything. I am the type of person who feels the need to talk about everything and my Hubby and his OSO are the opposite. It makes it harder for me to come to terms with everything because he just wants to hang out and learn to be best friends again. If I bring up the things that are important to me then he says it is too dramatic and will drive him crazy.
I have been a wife for 9 years. I will never be 20 something again and I can not make my body go back to what it was before I had kids. My hormones and mind set are just different now. I worry that he needs me to be the person I was before to be happy with me.
My OSO has been with my family for the last 9 years as well but just recently in the romantic sense. We are experiencing NRE but not like my H and his OSO. I already know everything about my OSO good and bad and love him for all of it. He loves me for who I am now and that is so very refreshing.
It is hard not to expect my husband to still act like my husband. At the same time I can not expect him to have his OSO as his primary and still act like my husband. I am hoping tonight counseling trip will help a little. I know it is a long road but I love everyone in my family and will do what I can on my part to make things better.