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Old 09-14-2011, 03:17 PM
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RaspberrySurprise RaspberrySurprise is offline
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 10

Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
Just to add on what is already stated.

- If you think your low libido is not natural, then check into a medical reason. If you think its just naturally lower then his, then don`t think that there is something wrong with you,..there isn`t. It`s ok to just be yourself.

Hi SourGirl

Thank you for your input, I appreciate it.

He definitely does think there is something wrong with me for barely having a sex-drive. He makes that pretty plain.

As I explained above it could be hormonal or medical. Depression has been with me for sometime. I also take fluoxetine for it. plus I have PCOS which messes with my hormones. I wont go into the other medical issues on here but there are quite a few. I rarely am without a headache and am tired all the time.

Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
- 'What choice do you have realistically'...actually, I think you are being very logical here. There is truth in the fact, that at some point, we all have to decide what is in our best interest, and choose to compromise, or stick to our guns, and let the cards fall where they may.

One thing I have learned, is that there are MANY reasons people get involved with poly. Not all of them are fairy-tale couplehoods, skipping through the tulips in unison. It was hard for me to accept, that sometimes other marriages just LACK something between the two involved, or someone feels they are missing something. It doesn`t mean the marriage is 'troubled,' it just means they need to go out and get 'the groceries' of life, to keep their cupboard full.

As nycindie suggested, don`t do this if you feel your back is up against the wall. Even if you are being 'realistic', it doesn`t mean you have to jump in.

- You can find your comfort zones and try small steps.

- Educate yourself. --> Educate yourself about poly, about marriage-history, about love, about jealousy, about anger. Educate yourself from many viewpoints not just pro-poly ones. No use brainwashing yourself. Use education as a means to figure out where you truly stand on any subjects that may come up.

- Keep communication open and honest. This means him being honest ( which he appears to be) and you not bottling up any 'negative' feelings. Just share them appropriately.

Good luck.
You say that not all relationships are fairytale that get involved in Poly. Is it fair for us to bring someone else into our already very troubled marriage?

I would love the "daydream" notion that I could be her best friend and he could have someone to do s&m with. But how likely is that?
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