Originally Posted by Jade
"The question of another person came up."
"He would like me to help choose this person and know them as a friend. I know I have a high propensity for jealousy and have a huge problem with the idea of him with someone else. But what choice to I have realistically?"
This is the loaded part. Is he looking for a love relationship (poly) or a no strings attached sexual relationship (fuckbuddy) or a friend with benefits (something inbetween)? How do you feel about those three options? What is your jealousy triggered by? If the mere thought of him having sex with someone else is the problem, I wouldn't recommend you pursue any of the above. I wonder why he wants you to be friends with the person. That could be important if he's looking for a poly relationship or "fwb," but not so much if he just wants an occasional sex toy.
You seem to be okay with the idea of him having a strictly sexual outlet. Am I misreading that?
We had tried relationship therapy, talking and s&m. It was his suggestion but it is a logical choice if you take the negative emotion out of it for me that is!
He doesn't want a no strings attached relationship, he wants an open and honest "love" one. It is the thought of not being special that makes me feel jealous. Having to share him. Knowing that I wasn't enough. Of course the thought of him just physically having sex with someone makes my blood boil too. Which is weird seeing as I don't have a high sex-drive myself.
I would rather that if it has to happen that he just goes off and has affairs and didn't talk about them, but I know that I wouldn't in reality be 100% okay with that either.