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Old 09-14-2011, 02:54 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 495

Originally Posted by polycouple View Post
Actually, what am I saying!? He was unfaithful in the first three months of their relationship. He was still married and hadn't told her...though he claimed they were not intimate, but none-the-less that's a HUGE betrayal not to tell you're married. I would think five years would be enough to heal from that, though I have never experienced that kind of betrayal so what do I know....
Interesting. To me, though, starting a relationship like that means they never HAD any trust to begin with... so it's not as much recovering from that as trying to build trust where there is nothing.

Regardless, I could make guesses all day as to what's going on with their relationship and that wouldn't help at all as they are only just guesses! I'm thinking that maybe the best thing you can do for yourself is to focus back on YOU. Figure out what you want, what you need, maybe learn a little bit about yourself and why you make the choices you do. And spend some time grieving the loss of the previous relationship. Let yourself feel that loss so you can move through it and come out the other side.

Maybe this was just a big smack on the head that it's time to focus on yourself for a while. For me, the trials and tribulations I went through this year were what it took for me to figure out I needed to get some clarity on myself and do the work I'd been putting off. Had things not been so dire, I would have put off the work further. Sometimes things have to get bad enough and kick us out of our comfort zone and away from our distractions in order for us to have the incentive to do that work.
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