I'm still in a bit of shock, our talk didn't really accomplish anything but alot of tears. I'm not able to search for less blunt wording, but basically he is pretty messed up at the moment. I severely underestimated his ability to deal with his emotions and communicate, or even understand what he wants. He's genuinely unsure of whether or not he can even be in a relationship, unsure of what kind of partner he wants, or can be himself.
It's doubtful that he will seek out any kind of therapy, just the routine anti-depressant dosage check in with his doctor.
He wants to severely cut back the time we spend together. Apparently he's been feeling uncomfortable spending any time with my husband and friends, which has been for about 3 hours a week at a regular group get-together. We work one block away from each other and start work at the same time so we've been taking the 10 minute bus ride together in the mornings, but he doesn't want to do that anymore. He has other activities 3 nights a week so I had no idea we were spending a great deal of time together, but we "see" each other every day since he lives downstairs... Most days it's the bus commute in the morning and maybe 30 minutes to say g'night.
He's never been able to say that he loves me, but he admitted that he feels less close to me lately. He wants more space, more time to himself to "work on making decisions on what he wants in his life". He's been spending his alone time lately playing video games and watching tv shows and I've been backing off until he started canceling our plans for this "space".
He admitted that he's unsure if he wants a girlfriend right now.
I'm truly at a loss to recap the whole conversation as I'm bouncing between bouts of sobbing and just feeling numb. I don't know what to do, I'm frozen with grief and anger right now.
"There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them." - Ray Bradbury