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Old 10-27-2009, 06:13 PM
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maca maca is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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I do understand what it is your saying Lover. Im working on building that trust that you have with C. Its not going to be fast or easy.Hell its not been easy with you after June 3rd.I still have moments of not feeling as though you dont love me as much anymore( IE lastnight)I know its my inner demons poking there f'd up little heads out.

Im forcing myself to focus on the good loving thingsnot the bad hurtful things.Somtimes I wish I could change brains with some of the ppl on this board just for a day to see through there eyes.

Its been a hard month for me. To go from putting up with C for the sake of your sanity to talking to him about having romantic alone time with you. To go from feeling like you need me to feeling like " You dont need me you want me". All this goes against what I had allways thought to be true and right.Im not giving up on myself , you or on us.Just doing the best I can. Maybe ( I have now heard this from several different ppl) Im trying to hard going to fast pushing myself to a point that Ill burn out like a flaring star. Its my nature to not feel the accomplishment till I get to the end of the job(stems from my employment).
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