The problems stem from the fact that I am lazy. Hell, that's the only thing we EVER argue about. I know that, and honestly tried to work on it. Last March, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, and had my thyroid removed. Since then, getting the medicines balanced has eluded us until the last month or so. Because of that, I was physically unable to make the changes I needed to make. That's where the blindside came from, in the fact that I felt things were finally starting to go in the right direction.
We've both been numb through the health problems, which caused us both to pull away. She never wants to "rock the boat", so she simply bottles up until the top blows off. At the same time, I can be quite oblivious to what's going on around me until my attention is brought to it. I guess it's kind of a perfect storm for us.
After my last post, I finally recognized and accepted the reality of the situation. The relationship that we had was over. However, she is willing to make a new relationship with me if it includes who she really is, which is the poly side of her. I agreed to that last night. And I am oddly at peace with it in my heart. Now it's my head that I'm trying to bring in line.