View Single Post
Old 09-12-2011, 09:44 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Hmm, it is definitely a good thing to make this connection and become aware of what's underneath it all.

If I were you, I would look and see if you have a pattern or belief system that causes you to seek out people who will eventually neglect or ignore you. We all have scripts we follow, old tapes we play, subconsciously, and a lot of the time our own beliefs and attitudes become self-fulfilling prophecies. There may be a small voice inside you that says you don't deserve long-lasting love. Or there may be a part of you that sees a relationship is over but you lack the confidence to end it, so you let it fizzle out until you feel victimized and must leave. It could be any number of scenarios we believe about ourselves or what kinds of relationships we deserve and can have. If you see a pattern -- that is, when the dynamics of one relationship are strikingly similar or reminds you of others you've had before -- that's a good place to start looking. And if you find this to be the case, don't judge yourself about it. Just be aware of this way of operating and be on the lookout for it in future.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 09-12-2011 at 11:40 PM.
Reply With Quote