Nice topic. My boyfriend does not identify as poly, he says he dislikes labels in general & the inference that he would have to act a certain way just because he labelled himself. However, he has had pseudo-poly relationships in the past. He thinks that an ethical poly situation with multiple partners would be a happy situation for us & that he would feel satisfied, although we are currently practicing monogamy, we are chatting with another couple & he is interested, participating, & not undermining the potential value or anything like that. He states that he is mostly self sufficient & thus, he could be content in Either a monogamous relationship with me or a poly-non-monogamous situation.
On the other hand, I don't mind self identifying as non-monogamous because monogamy has previously failed for me. Or I fail at monogamy... lol I get irritated when people try to confuse my bisexuality/pansexuality with my poly feelings. My sexuality is usually about sexual preference, & my polyamory is about my preference in relationship dynamics. I actually realized I was poly (& dated two men) before I accepted I also had interest in women. I had previously had an emotional relationship with a woman, but I just chalked it up to being friends because I was scared to 'come out' to my peers & I was pretty young so I wasn't really sure about anything at the time, all I knew was that I was attracted to men sexually so I thought that Must mean I was straight.
I think that many people choose not to self-identify because they realize that at different stages in life, your preferences have the potential to change. I am not sure where I read this exactly, but I do know that there are several studies about it.
Last edited by Senga; 09-12-2011 at 08:25 PM.