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Old 09-12-2011, 06:54 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
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I've explained my view a few times before, but I guess the most succinct way I can express it is to say that I view polyamory as a relationship structure, not an orientation or personality trait. I am extremely doubtful and skeptical about the notion that our brains are "wired" to be either poly or mono. I see the ability to love multiple people as a natural option for any human being, but that many factors come into play as to whether it feels right to someone to engage in polyamory, and those are mostly cultural conditioning, personal preferences, and a leaning or willingness to step out of accepted conventions in order to allow themselves the experience of loving more than one, among other things.

Therefore, I choose to live polyamorously, I choose to embrace polyamory, but I am not "wired" poly -- hence I don't ID as poly. Sometimes, for simplicity's sake, I do use the phrase, "I'm polyamorous," and what I mean by that is I choose to practice or am open to practicing polyamory. But it's not who I am. I tend to dislike using a label to define what I'm about. Same as saying I'm separated. It's my marital status, but not my identity.


That's my logic to approaching it, anyway.

I very much resonate with the "alternate point of view" stated in Item 11 (scroll down) on this page:
http://www.faqs.org/faqs/polyamory/faq/
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 09-12-2011 at 09:35 PM.
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