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Old 09-12-2011, 06:54 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

I've explained my view a few times before, but I guess the most succinct way I can express it is to say that I view polyamory as a relationship structure, not an orientation or personality trait. I am extremely doubtful and skeptical about the notion that our brains are "wired" to be either poly or mono. I see the ability to love multiple people as a natural option for any human being, but that many factors come into play as to whether it feels right to someone to engage in polyamory, and those are mostly cultural conditioning, personal preferences, and a leaning or willingness to step out of accepted conventions in order to allow themselves the experience of loving more than one, among other things.

Therefore, I choose to live polyamorously, I choose to embrace polyamory, but I am not "wired" poly -- hence I don't ID as poly. Sometimes, for simplicity's sake, I do use the phrase, "I'm polyamorous," and what I mean by that is I choose to practice or am open to practicing polyamory. But it's not who I am. I tend to dislike using a label to define what I'm about. Same as saying I'm separated. It's my marital status, but not my identity.

That's my logic to approaching it, anyway.

I very much resonate with the "alternate point of view" stated in Item 11 (scroll down) on this page:
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 09-12-2011 at 09:35 PM.
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