just thinking out loud
Been with my Fiancé for almost 6 years, I've been trying to be polyamorous for about a year now and known my Fiancé always been interested in seeing others.
She cheated on me with a guy 'M' a while back, and she pushed for to continue seeing him whilst with me. I didn't want to lose her so acceopted but was very unhappy for teh duration. After they split we decided to try polyamoury (I did this so she wouldn’t cheat on me again as I didn't want to lose her) and that I realised I liked other women and still was in love with my Fiancé.
She has tried to see a few people but it not really worked out for a few reasons, but she now seeing a guy 'R' and is happy with both him and me. I'm happy for her and I think the guy is cool. But she says she still in love with the guy 'M' she cheated on me with and is eventually going to see him again.
I'm not ok with this and said I’d leave her if she did. She said if I loved her then I’d be ok with this as it's a new start and they will be honest with me this time round.
I've tried to see a few people but been hurt in process. One women keepign me at arms length saying her partner not comfortable with the whole thing which i'm tryign to respect. Startign to think women don't want to share or i'm doign somethign wrong
Am I in the wrong in my reaction? I'm ok with her seeing other people - just not him 'M' because if what he represents and that she almost left me for him.
I wanted to physically hurt him, but realise now that’s the wrong attitude and I’m just not willing to ruin my life for the likes of him.
I thought Polyamoury was about trust and everyone involved being ok and happy with new people being brought into the fold. I thought it was about honesty and respect of your other partner’s feelings.
I’m stuck between hating the guy and trying to deal with my feelings so my Fiancé can be happy, or my fiancé being unhappy so I can be happy or less worried of him ‘M’ being involved.
So I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I’m ok being poly but not with ‘M’ in the picture.
Just needing to vent so sorry for wasting your time