Ugh. What is it about some people who are coupled failing to understand the importance of individual time with each partner?? How are you supposed to build basic emotional intimacy if you can never really connect with someome on a one to one basis? Can't they see that the fact that they get to spend time one on one with each other, but you don't get that sort of time with either of them, leaves you always the outsider? How do they think that is supposed to make you feel? What is the rationale for it? Does she think her husband will leave her for you if you two bond? If so, how can she be in this situation in the first place?
I think she has some serious soul searching to do as to her reasoning for that particular boundary, and its impact on the relationship structure she is trying to build.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.