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Old 09-11-2011, 10:17 PM
MichelleZed MichelleZed is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 194

Originally Posted by trueRiver View Post
But I stll think this is unfair. Many many many women feel like this, and it is totally accepted. When one in a whatever many women feels exactly the same as all the others, but has reproductive problems, people say she has an ego issue if she goes for the full technology.
Well, which is it? Are a woman's feelings about having biological children "totally accepted" or do "people say she has an ego issue"?

I say she's as entitled too use tech to become fertile as other women in other situations use tech to prevent fertility. We are no longer as a species dependent on nature for controlling fertility, and that works both ways...
We are still a little dependent. For some women, nothing technology can do can render them able to carry a child. For all men, technology can also do nothing about this. Both men and totally infertile women have to accept, somehow, that they will never carry a child.

There's nothing we can do to get you pregnant so you can carry your own kid, so you'll have to just get over that. You have other options available to you:

1) Adopt or foster parent
2) Convince some woman to carry your biological child by being in a relationship with her that encourages co-parenting
3) Convince some woman to carry your biological child by having her be your surrogate, and bring up the child yourself

All three of these options are really difficult to get going and require a good amount of hurdle leaping. Well... yeah. Welcome to everyone's world. Children and successful co-parenting relationships don't just fall out of the sky for anyone.

In some ways, men have an advantage in this. I was talking to my dental hygienist, who is in her 50's. She dated an older man through her 20's and 30's, and he didn't want children, and so they refrained from having them through all her fertile years. He left her when she was in her 40's, and she regrets not having a biological child. She feels like she missed out on kids all for this guy who left her.

Both you and my dental hygienist had life experiences that maybe didn't work out the way you or she wanted. Both of you had relationships that turned sour, chances for kids or parenting that didn't work out. Both of you regret that now.

The difference? You are still fertile, and she is not. You have a chance, and she doesn't, because you are a man.

So don't go around saying that women have all the biological luck here.

And in my experience, it seems to be the feminist women, rather than the mainstream system, who do most to prevent it happening.
Really? Feminists prevent men from parenting their children? Woah, buddy. You seem to have alienated two women, the mothers of your two children, to such an extent that they won't allow you to have contact with them. Was that because they were "feminists"? Because I am beginning to suspect it is because they just plain don't like you.

I think a man has a right to partial custody of his biological child, provided it is determined by the courts to be in the best interests of that child. But you're saying that you don't have legal rights to your children in your country. So... isn't that the "mainstream system" preventing you from contact, not feminists everywhere?

Generalized vitriol against women everywhere is hardly going to get you one step closer to your dream of finding a woman willing to carry your child and then co-parent with you. I suggest you reconsider your attitude, pronto.

And maybe it really is better with the Na, but the idea of still being dependent on the Mum for contact with the child, even if the mum is my sister not my partner, still leaves me fearful. And then do I miss out if I only have brothers (as is the case?).
Again, no-one is suggesting that you adopt the Na system as a practical solution to your problem. It was just a different way of looking at genetics and parenting that was food for thought for you as you mull over these issues.
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