I'm still in the exploratory stage, so I'm not sure it counts yet, but I can say what feelings I've had, which I sort of see shared by various people here. After getting married, my wife's best friend lived with us for a few years, and something about the dynamic of different personalities living together felt so right, to the point where we wondered how well we'd do without her. She eventually left, we got divorced and I had this feeling that I still have. It would take an extraordinary person to make me feel secure enough again to be as serious as I once was. When I was dating my 2nd post divorce person, I started thinking that 2 women who are different, yet similar would fill such a need, but being monogamous my whole life, being with 2 people just didn't make sense, and I thought something was wrong with me, and still wonder about that. After dating some more, I still feel like being with 1 person would require me to sacrifice part of myself. I stumbled upon the poly term and read a bit, and realized that I'm not the only person that feels that way, and maybe this is what I was looking for all along. Now I'm trying to form something, without rushing too quickly into things. Who knows if it will work out or not, but it feels so right in my mind on so many levels. I've also felt no guilt about caring for more than 1 person, and in fact something felt quite right about it. So even if I never find my way into a loving poly relationship, at least I know how good the dynamics can possibly be, even when you take out the sex part. This feeling is something I can tell won't go away either, since it's been under the surface for a long time, but just never understood or embraced.
Last edited by ARod; 10-27-2009 at 10:05 AM.