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Old 09-11-2011, 06:40 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
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I think that you get what you put out. If you are not asking for your needs to be met and believe that there is no one out there that is going to fulfil what you really desire in your life, then that is what you get.

Fuck being "easy going." Its one step to being "easy" if you ask me. "Easy going" comes from doing some hard work to establish what each person needs in a relationship. Its what comes when the work is done (there is always work, but it gets easier once knowing each other more is established) and you can sit back and enjoy the relationship. "Easy going" doesn't happen from neglecting to communicate about who you are dating, what is going on for you emotionally, and from "pretending" that you don't have feelings and needs just because you are accustomed to not sharing them.

I am hearing that he is using you TB. He seems to know that you are not accustom to sharing your emotions and instead of making it safe to explore that (as it is SO important to figure out how to express your feelings safely) he uses you for it because he knows you won't make a fuss. To me you are perpetuating a cycle.... he has money, he buys women with it and as soon as they are inconvenient or fussy and not as "easy going" as they once were he bails.

It seems to me that this cycle is what you are used to and see no other way. That is really sad to me TB. It so doesn't have to be like that... I think if I were in your situation I would work on being an emotional person, on what your needs are, what you would like out of a relationship and what you can give to someone else and ask for this to occur in your life. If not with him, with someone else... because I am here to tell you; there are people who want to do that with you if you open your heart to it and decide to not settle for anything but the best for you... when you do this you are able to give the best also. I think you have to start believing that though.
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