Originally Posted by Magdlyn
We, we, we, us.
Why are you (plural) so intent on finding one person who will love and lust for you both equally? There are so many stories here of unsuccessful unicorn hunts. And admittedly, my ex and I, 12 years ago, were naive unicorn hunters... our one try was a spectacular failure. We didn't bother trying again. (In '08, he and I split, and 6 months later that woman moved in with him... the cowgirl won! Yeehah!)
In the poly world, it's hard enough finding one person for one other person to love and connect with, and share interests and goals with. Finding one "girl" for a MF couple to *share* is almost impossible.
We are intent on it, because it's what we both ultimately want together. It has happened for some people, so I'm not giving up hope yet, neither is he. I was sharing some of the replies with him last night including yours and we wound up talking about how not easy this is to find someone to date a couple. He then suggested that we should open our options up instead of being so narrow minded and set on a specific configuration. He said that maybe it's just easier if we both try to meet other women, or if I wanted to..a man.
That's not something he's exactly been comfortable considering in the past, but he said "I can't expect you to be OK with me dating another woman and tell you it's not OK for you to date who you want, whether that be a woman or a man." That's a huge step forward for him I think! Poly is all about loving more IMO, and his too so maybe we've been limiting ourselves by focusing on finding someone so specific.