Sounds to me like you guys handled this very well. You determined she wasn't at all interested in what you're looking for before getting your feelings hurt. And not willing to get tested?? Er, yeah, that's a dealbreaker. Your expectations in that regard are *not* too high, that should be a given. Also, I really think it's great that you guys are open to seeing women in lots of different situations, not just "unicorns." Kudos.
I'll second previous posters and say that you guys just need to do what anyone hoping for a new partner needs to do... go out into the world, be social, do group activities, have a good time and see who you meet! And yeah, even if purely casual sex is not what you want, be careful not to try to make things too serious too fast... most people don't click and commit as quickly as you two did with each other, that's for sure! Keep it light and fun and open while being honest that NSA sex is not for you. Note though, that sometimes NSA sex becomes more... that's how I ended up with my gf, Gia.
The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.