Let`s mostly forget, the shoulda`s, woulda`s, coulda`s.
The reality is, it`s time for you to make a new list of your expectations.
In one column have 'Necessities'
In the other ' flexible'
- STD testing should be mandatory, and someone who has issues with it, should be given a small grace period to think on it, and then promptly disposed of, if they don`t see the light. So this is a necessity.
Where as ;
- Distance...get more flexible. Apparently, single poly-fi broads, are not exactly falling off trees during harvest season, in your region.
Another reality check,..Yeah sure, go to bars. Go kayaking. Go learn how to play a tuba. Whatever. When you say ' I don`t even know how,..'..well duh,..nobody knows how to do anything ...at first.
You learn, and in the process you might meet someone. If not, you have some fancy new skillz other then nerding-it-out on a computer.
Back to shoulda`s and woulda`s,...
...Laying out your hopes and dreams for the next 3-4 years, with someone you just met, ( in that kind of detail) is going to make them think twice. Even if it doesn`t sound desperate, it does make a person feel like you have this nifty little poly-box, you have designed. The first girl off the assembly line to jump in, wins the bow-tie.
Most people start out with one ideal, and then find the reality to be quite different to what they imagined.
Increase your odds, without becoming what you dislike.
Loosen up your ideals, but stay tight on your ethics.