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Old 10-27-2009, 05:49 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by Manno View Post
Red Pepper: I really appreciate the advice and while I know this happens a lot, I didn't know many people who have gone through it. As for how this all turned a new leaf, I don't feel cheated or disrespected, though I understand every relationship is a bit different. Throughout our lives together, we've paid particular attention to make sure we talk through everything. And your last comment about getting that sexual release out of the way in their friendship, I'm fairly certain it needed to happen, for them and actually for us.
Yes, I didn't think you felt cheated on, but some others might see it as so if it wasn't talked about. You know your own relationship and it's boundaries, it sounds like a "blip" like that is just a "blip," so be it.

It sounds like you are in the habit of talking and that things have settled. I do hope you can get through your thoughts of loneliness though. My husband went through that terribly at the beginning of my relationship to Mono. He took it upon himself to better himself and his self esteem (he is kinda like that, always wants to be the best person ever... no small reason I chose TWO men like that! I respect it) and do things that he wouldn't normally do because I am around. He blogs a lot now on polyamory among other things and has gotten back to some long lost hobbies that he gave up when we had a child. He too gave up things as did I. We both are back on course with our own interests and are much happier for it.

I hope you are able to find what it is that can make you happy too although I don't suggest you start with finding a girlfriend.... one relationship starting is a lot already, settling into that dynamic first might be better until everyone has settled. My husband started a new relationship a few months ago after 8 months of working on the dynamic between Mono, him and I. He tried a relationship after a month of Mono and I getting together out of loneliness and boredom and it was too much drama for us all to handle at the time. Of course, again, you know your limits and your own dynamic.
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