I love how you have a "No" list Ravenamethyst! Much like I have "veto."
Fidelia, you summed up all I would say! good on you!
I'm not sure what I would do any differently than Fidelia says. I suppose I would keep talking and try and put some rational thought into his head, but really he has to come to that himself. I wonder how long you have had her on the "no" list and whether you can set a time period for her to be there. Perhaps a few months, six months, something like that, just to see if it makes any difference to his heart and to her finding another person to be co-dependent with. Women like that can't stay alone long... they seem to be unable to live without someone to tell them what to do and when to do it.They seem to need someone to take pity on them. Perhaps if your husband can wait for a set time period he will see this happen and if it doesn't and they still love each other then maybe there is real cause to believe that their relationship is worth the risk of trying to trust her again....
On her side it might be wise for you husband to tell her that he is working on his marriage and that she should work on things in her own life too. Maybe even suggest ways in which to do that. If there is a reunion of their hearts then you will all be better for it if some work is done in the mean time.
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM