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Old 09-08-2011, 08:41 PM
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rory rory is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Europe
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Yesterday we had a lovely skype call with Mya. We talked about a lot of things, and also about what we like about in each other and this relationship. I love Mya a lot and I feel our relationship enrichens my life. I love the fact that she likes to think and talk about all kinds of stuff and has a broad range of interests. Also, it feels good that all of this is starting to feel so natural. There isn't that overwhelming need to process poly all the time as there was for a while. We've been together 5 months now, and while there is obviously still some NRE there's also a growing amount of the more stable kind of love. I feel secure and confident of our connection and her love.

I'm really happy with the whole situation. I think opening to poly has changed much of how I used to think, how I used to live my love life. I'm not sure who it was on this forum, and where, who wrote something really good about time sharing and the effects of NRE. But the point was that it's important, whomever you're spending time with, to truly be present in that moment. And that message really struck me. Me and Alec started our relationship young and had been together for 7 years. I was happy with him before but I do think I wasn't always really present with him. I also haven't been great with boundaries, which contributes: e.g. if I don't get enough alone time I can't enjoy spending time with him and he can't know I need it if I don't tell him (or if I don't realise that need myself). Somehow being in a different relationship dynamic at the same time has helped me to see more clearly what it is I need and want in a relationship. And all the reading about poly and communication and boundaries has helped, too. I think a lot of this has been a change coming for a longer time, but poly stepped in at a really good time and has had an impact as well. I feel I'm being present with Alec, and really seeing who he is. Obviously I knew he had changed a lot during the time we've been together, but somehow the fact that we had been life partners for so long had made me feel like I already know him. Which was true in some respects. But I've also learned a lot about him in the last 5 months, stuff that's changed but also stuff we have just never come to talk about. I feel I appreciate him more than I used to. Don't get me wrong, I did respect him and love him before, too! I hope it doesn't sound like I didn't. But I'm just realising all there is to him I didn't know about, all of which makes me love him even more.

At this moment I feel I'm living life to the fullest in every respect, including relationships. And I'm seriously enjoying all the openness, company, love, sex and connectedness... Life is good. <3
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