AnnabelMore, I hear you. But we will have to agree to disagree on part of it.
However, that's not what I have asked for. I've asked for help with my blind spots to see what else I could/should be considering. Do you have anything to offer on that topic?
I've been burned by lots of things in relationships over the decades. If I were to deny myself relationships because I've been burned...well, I'm not willing to do that. I need relationships, so I persevere.
I've also had positive experience in relationships which include the primary partner's veto rights. It's not all bad.