I just don't get why a veto power should ever exist. If you do something egregious, shouldn't he *want* to break up with you? If you were, say, ongoingly cruel to his wife, why would he want to stay with you? And hell, if he did want to stay with someone who was cruel to his wife and wouldn't stop her cruel ways, then that would say he didn't care much about his wife... in which case, why would *she* want to stay with him??
I just... being a secondary myself, I just can't stand the whole idea of veto power. Obviously if she thinks you're bad for him, or bad for their marriage, she can talk to him and she could say things like "I think you should leave her" or "I can't stay if you stay with her." But those are conversations, it's different. I mean, I suppose it's a semantic difference at that point, but...
Just, fuck the whole veto thing. Fuck it. I don't think I could stand knowing one was in place. And after you've been burned once by it, I don't see how you could stand it. I don't mean to be hurtful to you, just wanted to be honest.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.