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Old 09-08-2011, 01:37 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,323

Originally Posted by trueRiver View Post
Gave up on the idea of the child being fathered by me in 2000 when got involved with single parent and ended up doing lots of the childcare...
Then after four years of telling me she never wants a second child, she gets broody, can we... [get pregnant]

...Promises were made, and forgotten as soon as she was pregnant and decided to cut me off from step d and to do everything possible to prevent me seeing the then unborn child.
How is it possible that your role as biological father was so ignored that you lost even partial custody? I can see you feel very wounded by that. I don't understand. What went so wrong, and how could you prevent that in future?

So I figure my best two remaining hopes are broody career women (mono/poly/whatever) who are looking for a guy who is up for doing lotsa childcare, or some polytangle with similar needs for several kids...
Keeping in mind that you are 56 and with a cultural life expectancy of 70ish, if you met a woman tomorrow and she got pregnant on your first date, you'd be ailing or dead by the time the kid was in her mid teens... hm.

Interestingly, in Woman on the Edge of Time (feminist utopia, mid 70s, Marge Piercy) it is the elderly who do much of the care of the very young, because their sleep patterns match. I can identify with that - I would do better now with a teething baby than I would have at 26, because I rarely sleep through the night now, usually awake for a while in the early hours.
Ach. It's hard enough being up several times a night when one is in their 20s and 30s, healthy, vital and strong. Personally I work as a nanny, and am usually exhausted after 4 or 5 hours caring for the infant twin boys, and their 5 year old sister. Never mind being up several times a night for feeding and soothing... Hence my "awe."
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62) loving Pixie (poly, F, 40) since January 2009, living together since 2013
Seeing Kahlo (polyish, M, 45)
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixie's Dom/bf for 3+ years
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