I understand the veto and I know it can be necessary. If the OSO does something very damaging to the primary partner or to the primary relationship, the veto power is necessary. I've observed it used that way in other relationships. In 15 years, I've never seen it used because the primary partner can't handle their emotions before now, though.
So I will clarify that I am asking for the veto power to be used only in the event that I commit some egregious act, not in the event that she finds she can't handle it emotionally.
Thank you for helping me clarify that.