I used to giggle...
I have two friends that practice poly, but it is far more defined as "open relationship" as they have their own separate lovers, and only occasionally mix for fun. They've been together for five years, and have a great relationship, so with my cursed past in love, I never had a critical word to say. They obviously had insight I lacked, in many relationship areas.
I participated in about five minutes of a random threesome years ago. She put my face in her twat, I tried, I did NOT like it, and I left the two to have their night with each other. I'm still friends with the girl, but we have never addressed it since, other than Thanks for helping realize that I soooo don't like vagina.
So I'm in the middle of a divorce. I've slept with one guy friend several times. But there is no relationship. Before him, it had been eight months for me! And damn if he isn't amazing in bed. Basically, we get drunk and have sex. That's our whole thing. We do it sober sometimes, that's not it, but generally we are only together when we both have a night to party. ...my therapist says that I seek put men who will take advantage of me. Um, he is a genius, according to my past roster. A damn genius. Right on the money. Every single man I've been with has used me for money, a place to live, and sex. And I allow it... And welcome it! My husband was even abusive... aND cheated. What the He'll, right?
Don't feel sympathetic. I've grown. I'm done with that. In fact, I've sworn off allowing it. I am only entertaining the notion of dating those with similar accomplishments, goals, intelligence, and the ability to contribute physically, emotionally, and equally financially to a relationship. Kinda made me a prude, but a prude that's not getting taken advantage of, am I right?
So... I'm out with my drinking-awesome-sex friend... And I meet this guy. He sort of seeks me out, almost waits on me. He is attractive, though I'm not drooling over him, and we have core things in common. We go out to the car to talk before my friend was ready to leave. He's telling me I'm beautiful, and my Miller Lite fades just enough to remember, "wait, you said you had a girlfriend..." at which point he tells me that she'd like me even more. WHOA. Please recall my one and only experimentation, and tell me WHY I keep talking to him. We exchange numbers, and I take my friend home.
So then his gf texts me in the morning. I hear you think my man is cute. Whaaaat... Did I hit on someone's bf? Feeling quite open to the possibility of JUST getting to know them, she and I go shopping and hang out that day. Immediately I think she's beautiful, sexy, smart... She leaves to run errands and I know I want to kiss her when she comes back. That evening, for maybe thirty minutes, we lay naked and kissing. I was in lala land.
The texts continue, they get dirtier and sexier. He's texting me too. They want a threesome. Long story short, we've known each other for six days, had two threesomes, and the one short time with just me and her. It was good. I can't deny that.
But now I'm falling for her. I'm pretty sure it's mutual. But, I feel like I'm beating my head trying to figure out what they really want. They say... They care about e, want to be there for me, want to show me how they feel, they want me. But I want her. I mean, I like him. He's cute and fun, and we all three have everything in common. They both want me to want BOTH of them. I can't do it yet. I almost have to block him out to be sexually... Dirty. I feel that I could fall for both, biut remember it's been a week. Holy hell, it's been a week. He says slow down, let your endorphins subside, and your thoughts will organize. He's actually really f-ing insightful. AND AND AND, they've been together four years, and I'm their first addition ever. I think he's been with several girls. I'm now the third person he's slept with. Ahhhh...
But I don't wanna slow down. What I want is time alone with her to explore these notions, sexually and not. I'm blown away by how much this triad idea makes me excited... Happy... But it's all so new and unknown and a little scary. Okay, a lot scary.