I'm sorry Carma, I feel for you, but I think you've been adviced out at this point. Things cannot progress until the honesty issues are sorted out. You will keep coming back, asking variations on the same questions, over and over if you do not deal with this core issue.
The only problem I can see is between you and Sundance. The rest is speculation because who knows what's actually being said to everyone?
And yet you dance around that issue, ignore other's comments on it, or say they have a good point but never offer updates about any steps that have been taken because of this advice.
You've really gone through every possible cause EXCEPT the most obvious. Is it a problem with you? Is it a problem with Butch? Is it a problem with Barbie and Sundance? No. Well maybe, but the lying is muddying the waters so much that you can't tell until it is dealt with.
I suspect that even if you were to use veto powers and sack both of your OSO relationships, the problems would not be resolved. You can't go back to the way things were, because you've seen this side of him in action and it will continue to haunt you.