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Old 09-06-2011, 03:11 PM
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Somegeezer Somegeezer is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Leeds, UK
Posts: 806

Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
Yes lots of people on here are in mono/poly relationships and make it work. You have been on this forum for what, like a year now, and you haven't read ANYTHING about it on here? I have seen you participating in lots of discussions here and on facebook and find it hard to believe that you haven't seen anyone who has been in a similar situation.

I hate to be ageist, but when i see you use expressions such as "my whole life i've been this way and just came out", i can't help chuckling. So you knew you were poly since you were a fetus? That's grooovy. But at your age, you still have a lot of experiencing to do and trying to wrap a ribbon around this particular relationship seems a bit hasty don't you think? I remember when i was your age i wanted to classify things in a way that made sense that i could build on, only to discover that you can't just do that because the rest of the world is off doing its own thing and i was learning and changing at the same time as everybody else. You don't think the same way or want the same things at age 38 as you did at age 28 and age 18. If you're really compatible with another person, neither of you should have to "find" common ground, you should already have lots of it. It is a young-person thing to try to make the world fit with your expectations instead of looking at the things you can't change and fitting your expectations around that. If you think ypu have a wonderful relationship then enjoy the wonderfulness of it but dont think you can turn a chicken into a duvk just by getting it a little wet.
What would we do without your heavy hitting sarcasm NK? =P
Of course I have read a lot about it. I just haven't found a lot of help with it. If you hate to be ageist, don't be. I also never mentioned knowing I was poly all my life. If anything, I was, but NEVER knew until recently.

I agree, we shouldn't have to find "common ground". I know what our common ground is. What I'm asking is how do you and a partner who is strict mono work in a way that make you both comfortable? Presumably, so that mono is being mono and poly is being poly, without either being unhappy about any of that. I don't want to change anyone.

You don't need to look down at me for being 19. I'm as human as you. Never mind wanting different things from life at 38 compared to 28. Decisions you make can change your view in a second. If yesterday had turned out differently, I would be living today differently than I am now. But just because life changes, doesn't mean I'll be unhappy with my decisions. =]
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