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Old 09-06-2011, 08:31 AM
friday friday is offline
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 11

Originally Posted by River View Post
Another sketch:

"What, aren't I enough for you? Aren't I good enough?"

When this question is asked from within the "paradigm" of monogamy / monogamism, it is taken for granted that one person should be able to supply all of one's most intimate companionship -- to complete satisfaction --, and that dissatisfaction with this purely dyadic "picture" of love must indicate one's partner in love is failing and inadequate.

Saying so doesn't mean voluntary monogamy is "less than" poly. Poly folk generally have a live and let live attitude, wheras most mono folk tend to think their approach is the one correct one.
Originally Posted by Athena View Post
Monogamy implies that we can have only one true match and that we are only capable of truly and fully loving one person, and there is a schema that two people marry and establish a unit.
The schema and the myth and the reason most people think that monogamy is "correct" is because it is dominant, and it is dominant for a reason. Millions of years of evolutionary biology made humans a 'mostly monogamous' species, along with a lot of birds and a few other mammals. It is a system that produced young that were able to reproduce and spread their genes. That being said, birds and other mammals don't have the option of thinking about the long view of evolutionary biology and whether that is something that really works within a culture, so as humans we are lucky to be able to take advantage of trying out other systems that might just elevate us even further as a species.

People believe in monogamy as a cultural tool because its been handed down to us over many many generations of both thought and physical. Its only recently that humans have had the time and resources to farm less and think about things like romance more, and for the last few thousand years its been monotheism which has dominated most of the world, who wanted to reinforce the system that bred the most people to push the darkness of the wild back, and for good reason.

De-programming oneself from one's dominant culture is not easy but it is hopefully a worthwhile pursuit for those of us that want to spend the time to examine what a life of non-dominant paradigms could potentially offer.

Last edited by friday; 09-06-2011 at 08:32 AM. Reason: paragraph breaks added
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