Yes Ceoli-I do think that is part of it.
With the change in dynamic to some degree I feel like they each need to take more responsibility for THEIR relationship and the "angst" that inevitably comes up periodically between/for them.
For example, if either is feeling like they need some time that hasn't been previously set aside for them with me, I feel like instead of asking me to ask the other one they ought to just go talk to one another.
They could talk through-hey I need some time with LR what's a good time for you so that I don't step on your toes in the taking of it blah blah blah.
I have been trying to be gentle with Maca-he's working his butt off right now to get a handle on so many things in his life-and doing so well we're all sort of standing around stumped with our mouths dropping open, staring at him in shock and amazement.
But I sort of feel like if they can manage to talk about getting matching tattoos of the three geckos (came up last night) then they can talk to each other about some of the needs they have too..
Does that seem reasonable? Obviously it's not your relationship I know. But just in general does that make sense based on what you do know about us?
I guess I have spent so long "in hiding" that in coming out-I don't know what steps Maca is ready for (and he's new enough to being true to himself he doesn't either) so I'm sort of waffling!
I took one bull by the horns today and called the girl he's potentially interested in (because he came home early from work) and let her know I have plans today to bake cookies with a bunch of kids (7 to be exact) and can't take advantage of his availability so it would be a good time for them to go talk. She was thrilled to find a DAY time he was available (very rare) because they are not open in her marriage with their kids (we are) so it gets complicated since Maca works days which is when her kids are at school.
Maca was a bit suprised I think. But it was just one of those moments of opportunity-why waste it? He does NOT enjoy making cookies with 7 kids-heck more than one kid is pushing it! So go my love and talk!!!
But between the two of my men I get caught up in not knowing when it's ok to say "uh why don't YOU go talk to him" instead of "taking care" of them....
"Love As Thou Wilt"