I totally stole the name from Dan Savage. I guess it fits me pretty well (although, to be fair, I mostly go with whatever form of relationship the person I'm with is happy with, and can stretch and bend to fit many molds...up to a point. I think I may have hit my "point" and gotten exhausted for a bit and just wanted things to be nice and simple and safe...but that's also not the life I chose/am choosing to live, and to be completely honest, I am at least a little excited about the possibility of going on dates again with nice people who will like me and take care of me and respect my boundaries while also desiring me
Also, redpepper, I think that being queen or princess of the palace is a very apt analogy, and one Lilin and I both liked and felt comforted by. It's something to consider, at least in the early stages of his relationships with others, and I think it would be appreciated in order to mitigate my leftover fatigue/anxiety. Thank you, once again, for the advice. I've been reading your blog posts from page 1 (I only made it to page 32 thus far, haha), and it seems like you've all been on quite a journey.
Oh, and dingedheart-- we did say if you wanted to hold our feet to the fire about our structure-within-polyamory-and-bdsm ideas, that you had to watch the video first. If that didn't help, then thinking that "making lots of rules is part of the fun" is just about as good an answer as any, I guess.