Thanks for the kind and useful words Ray..... yes Im totally new to this...though Id say ive been acting as a 'single' poly for the past year. My partner and my OSO have had the perameters of an open (not poly) relationship throughout but have been mostly monogamous throughout that time as far as I understand. He would mostly define himself as being a polygamist in that he is most comfortable in monogamous scenarios.
I think I feel quite similarily.... though I am truly hopeful (and fearful) to explore the potential of this specific scenario. I also am aware that my OSO is not interested in being a secondary to my partner....and so I have to ask myself If I too would or wouldnt be content with that. Our ideal is a full partnership each with very different needs....
Id love the opportunity to step into this more slowly...it might help to temper some of the intense emotions flaring... but I think the distance of long distance is making this all just that much more intense.
Im hoping to find something that feels comfortable and will allow us to build something more solidly.