In the process of forming a triad.....so much love and fear. so many questions
I am looking for any support and most words of wisdom from folks here who have been though what Im newly experiencing with attempting to join my new (2 months in) long distance boyfriends 10 year relationship with the woman he loves and is committed to.
a bit of background info. My boyfriend and I (east coast girl) met somewhat cosmically on my roadtrip to cali.... though the aid of the internet dating site okc. neither of us expected what weve come to find to be an unstopably surge of joy, love, compatibiity and desire for continued connection and full immersion into one anothers lives.
I knew up front of his commited relationship with his girlfriend of 10 years and of his complete love for her. After our initial brief mindblowing meeting he was very clear that he has no interest in leaving her for me. And thus we began discussing possible scenarios beautiful and frightening of carving out a life togther.
We laid a plan for us all to meet in a neutral location in Colorado and before that meeting happened myself and my new bf arranged for him to come out to the east coast to spend time with me and solidify our connection. He did this and it created such a surge of powerful emotion in us both that weve been in heavy NRE fog land since parting.
many things have been laid out and discussed between us including my deepest fears. he has done his best to talk though them with me in most cases showing me how love will be a powerful tool for us to work though these fears. However....I am still so afraid of meeting her. of not liking her. and most importantly of how to negotiate the dynamics of our triad were I to move in with them or they with me.
This was one of the points that has made me pull away. Ive opted currently to detach from the situation (which has been ruling my time and sleep for the past 2 months heavily) and spend the 2 weeks untill we all meet in person to recenter and gain clarity. To reach out to others and ask for support and help understanding some of the nuts and bolts of a functioning triad.
Please feel free to reach out to me with any of your own stories. or with just tid bits of advice. to tell me I am maybe a bit too emotional for my own good and to just chill out (even if i know this already) and that it will all work out because love is truly the strongest force in the universe...and we are all here to live it.