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Old 09-05-2011, 08:55 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 5,942

Originally Posted by trueRiver View Post

Does a particular culture exist to serve its people, or do the people exist to serve the culture? The answer to that question determines, for me, whether the culture is oppressive or empowering.
Yeah? So which is more empowering? Being part of an interconnected tribe who have your back, or being a part of a dyad couple who have a 50% chance of divorce, and whose kids then have to deal with the effects of a "broken home?"

It is an older world view, certainly. It is not a "just different" view, any more than black slavery could be described as a "just different" way of looking at race. It is an unfair view from the past.
I don't see what is inherently unfair about it. It's worked for millenia, and has survived even Western patriarchal views to this day. Obviously it works quite well in some cultures.

It does matter to me to know who my children are.
Fine. If you were Na, "your" children would be the ones in the matriarchal tribe.

However, I have had 3 biological kids. I did enjoy the process of conception, pregnancy, birth and lactation, so I am not saying there isn't a thrill in being involved in procreating and raising one's biological children, direct descendants.

But since we are all poly here, and you brought up a good point about determining whose kid is whose, genetically, Cindie brought up another type of culture to show another way things can go in non-patriarchal groups. I am sure she didnt mean to say you were "wrong" to feel broody and wanting to raise you own biological kid(s).

I am not open to the idea that I am wrong to feel what I feel. I am not open to the suggestion that I should think about what is more important to you, rather than what feels immensely important to me.
I am not sure if you were talking to me or Cindie here. It's a bit disturbing to hear you accuse me or us of telling you your "feelings are wrong," considering how important honoring feelings are in poly culture at large.

And if you criticise "dead beat dads" who don't care about their kids (and yes there are too many of them), why are you reluctant to understand what motivates those of us who very much do want to be involved: why do you prefer to tell us what we should want, rather than building from what we do want?
No one is telling you what you should want.

Get a grip, man.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
"Master," (mono, 36), miss pixi's Dom for 3 years
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