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Old 09-05-2011, 05:29 PM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trueRiver View Post
nycyndie, I find your persistence with this personally offensive. It is not the topic of this thread to discuss whether men *should* be broody, but how those of us who actually *are* can combine that with being poly. You are of course welcome to start a new thread, but please stop hijacking mine.
River~~, your thread is in the General Discussions area, and as such is open for discussion, which may meander from the subject on occasion. If you want a thread protected from opinions counter to your own, then there's the blogs & stories section. As it stands, NYC's comments of patriarchal upbringing are quite relevant to your question if you take the time to look at the root of your feelings and the society around you that reinforces them. You started talking about your confusion, and asked for thoughts and opinions, and NYC's been offering some of what you asked for...maybe just not the ones you were expecting. If you're feeling offended, perhaps ask yourself what's causing that instead of accusing another of hijacking.

Quote:
Originally Posted by trueRiver View Post
I have had experience in the past (not on this issue) of attempts at equal negotiation being received as controlling demands, so any more hints you can give me will be useful.
NYC's example of the Na provides a matriarchal example for comparison, and an alternative view of how the broody need for men to raise children who are genetically related to them can be fulfilled, and with a greater degree of certainty than trying to figure out paternity.

Regardless of the way the Na live, western society is still a Patriarchal Hierarchy, with the passing of property, names, etc, running along paternal lines. The problem being is that up to recently paternity is impossible to determine with absolute certainty, so there's a history of several thousand years of various attempts to control the reproductive capacities of women in the vain attempts of men to ensure their progeny was genetically their own.
Burka's, chastity belts, female circumcision, religiously mandated monogamy, double standards surround adulters vs adultresses, are just a few examples.

I posted links to a Gwynne Dyer documentary here, which is a good backgrounder on where all this patriarchal nonsense comes from, and the consequences of which surround almost everything we do in this society.

So, if you're wondering why your negotiations about ensure paternity take a turn towards accusations of control, it's probably because men have been trying to do as you have for a few millenia, and it's not always appreciated by the women who do the heavy lifting of carrying the baby's to term, give up their bodies to breastfeeding, etc...no matter how politely you may be about asking compared to some ancestors...like say Henry VIII.
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