Originally Posted by JRiverMartin
I think it is unhelpful toward one's emotional and spiritual / psychological health to have "just sex" with people--that is, sex without bonding and openning into intimacy and tender feelings and all that. Sex is inherently bonding. It is intrinsic to sex that it is so. So my advice is to avoid having "just sex" without bringing your heart along for the ride. If you're not going to be making love with another, I recommend making love with yourself--either with your right or your left hand. It will avoid all of that messy emotional entanglements -- no worries!
I agree, but is it easier for men to have "just sex"?? Don't get me wrong, sex with people that you love and care for is SOOOOO much more fulfilling, but as young guy, I was able to just fool around to get my jollies off. I guess it was more about the physical need. When I'm hungry a peanut butter and jelly sandwich will fill me up even though that steak is really what I want. Make sense?
I don't want to suggest that just satisfying your need for sex is the right way to go, but was just putting it out there.
I agree with JRiver that keeping to yourself would probably help the potential for the "messy emotional entanglements"