Originally Posted by Derbylicious
It seems to me that ideally you will find partners who share your ideals. The way your original post was worded gave me the knee-jerk reaction of "it's her body and her life and pretty much up to her what she does". You speak a lot of control of who she is allowed to see and what she is allowed to do. ...
This is very helpful feedback.
What was it about my original post that gave you that reaction?
If you can say more I'd appreciate it because that is exactly what I do *not* want, that is I neither want to *be* controlling, nor do I want to *come* *across* as controlling (two overlapping issues).
I can understand the pull towards being controlling in this kind of situation, and can find those tendencies in myself, and part of my self-perplexity at present is how to remain true to what I want, without at the same time becoming a control freak in order to (try to) get it.
Does that make sense to you?