Originally Posted by nycindie
...it isn't important whose seed the children come from (that doesn't mean the men are not important to the culture, mind you, just that it doesn't matter which children are theirs).
it matters to me, and to many men. The fact that it "doesn't matter" to the culture is a way of denying men in that culture the possibility of even thinking whether this is something that matters to them (like making Gay people or Poly people invisible in our culture)
The fact that some cultures make that unattainable is as unacceptable to me as the way our culture tries to make poly unacceptable. In my view, when a culture forces ideas that are unacceptable to a significant proportion of its people (even if that is a minority) then it is the culture that should change, not the individuals.
Does a particular culture exist to serve its people, or do the people exist to serve the culture? The answer to that question determines, for me, whether the culture is oppressive or empowering.
Originally Posted by Magdlyn
"Totally invalidates?" It's just a different and older world-view. ...
It is an older world view, certainly. It is not a "just different" view, any more than black slavery could be described as a "just different" way of looking at race. It is an unfair view from the past.
It does matter to me to know who my children are.
Please accept that. What I do with that feeling is up for discussion, and I am open to suggestions, that is why |I posted the thread.
I am not open to the idea that I am wrong to feel what I feel. I am not open to the suggestion that I should think about what is more important to you, rather than what feels immensely important to me.
And if you criticise "dead beat dads" who don't
care about their kids (and yes there are too many of them), why are you reluctant to understand what motivates those of us who very much do
want to be involved: why do you prefer to tell us what we should want, rather than building from what we do