Thank you all for the replies, I can agree that perhaps my eagerness may have scared her. However i have not been given an opportunity to explain, any civil conversation I attempt is ended in her tears and rage.
As for the cheated part, that is my feeling, I do not feel like I have been cheated on in the normal sense, but that opportunities were given, and never reciprocated. If she had genuinely not enjoyed the experience then I would be dealing with these feelings in a different manner but she has expressed that she enjoyed herself very much. Also that if given better terms would enjoy it again. She however demands that if it were to happen again that I am not to be involved, which i can understand, but she also demands that I remain monogamous sexually while she would be allowed to pursue women.
She offered that I could pursue men and in her mind that that would be fair, but I am not attracted to men in that way. I did have one male friend with whom I shared a very close emotional relationship, but sexually It isn't me.
She has driven most of my close friends away, we still see one another but we do not share the close emotional ties that we once did, and any time i spend with them is greeted afterward with jealousy and implications of unfaithful behavior on my part. I still have casual friends but I can not be close to people in the way I once was.
The incident occurred about three moths ago now, and I can understand that to her it may seem too soon after such a 'monogamous' commitment but my lifestyle was something she was aware of before hand. She even chose one of my close female friends as her maid of honor.
Everything was quite literally as close to perfect as things could be until sex was a part of the poly picture. She never had a problem with my emotional partnerships. But now i don't even have those, and it's really starting to effect me emotionally.